Friday, May 22, 2009


629 words

I never thought about how shitty it would be to be woken up out of a nice sleep by a sprinkler going off in my face.

It sucks

I’m soaked

And not sleeping

And all I’ve been thinking is

Hey girl

There’s nay a picture of you on facebook that doesn’t deal with alcohol in someway.

You’re an alcoholic woman


Ever since I walked in on that would be robber in my apartment

I don’t lock my doors anymore

Because I really like visitors

You allowed me the reverse


Name’s Bugman



My name cuts

Like a kite

I’ll have you know

Mess with the dull

You get the bugles

I slapped the doctor the second I was born

Told him to put me back

I wasn’t done with Slaughter-House Five

Or so it goes

The feathery bed

The one in your head

I know I’m sleeping in it tonight

I napped there all day

Orange purple elephant

Strange pupils elegant


The definition of success can be found by

Not overdoing it

Time and timelines only came into existence when humans

Needed to feel

Like they ever existed



If it had a say in the matter

Probably wouldn’t be read left to right

Everybody lives to die

Some people think they die to live more

If I lived forever

Like in heaven

I would eventually ask for it to be over with

How fucking boring would that be?


I might stick around for a bit and play canasta

With Frank S.

Have a laugh with Chris F.

Feel what it’s like to fly


So I bought these bananas, Right?


If I were water I’d start to be getting really annoyed right about now

Always movin’ around

No thank you


Loaf rimes with lophe

It is so goddamned hot in here right now

I could just hit someone with my car


When I was four my favorite toy was my big wheel

I loved it

Rode it everyday

Then the garbage man threw it away

“Sonofabitch” I said to my mom

She agreed


There’s many ways to do it

But the very best way to skin a cat

Is to remove all of its skin


Who do I have to punch around here to be free


People need to stop hoping for love

They just need to hope for the best

I may or may not be a brick wall

Impervious to emotion

My emotional telephone doesn’t receive calls

You can try to leave a message

But it will be forgotten instantly

That’s what I got from her anyways


My turtle


Had a tumor in his head

We gave him what we thought was chemo

It didn’t work

We were twelve


I would’ve never guessed I could’ve gotten rid of you so easily

I guess all it took was getting rid of you


I have more children than I know what to do with



I’m going to run around the quad commenting on its wonderful

Octagonal shape

I don’t think

I know

That I’m turning Japanese


If I could only come up with one hundred and thirteen more words right now

That would be the bee’s pajamas

I’d celebrate with a swift haircut

Then sprinkle the clippings all over my dog

Then I would go around telling everyone that my dog

The poor thing

Wants to be a human so bad that she went and bought a wig

But she still poops in the yard

Just like my neighbor used to


Did I mention how awesomely hot it is in here

It is awesome


Yeah I’m a Buddhist

Big whoop

Wanna fight about it?


Life gozon

No matter how stupid everyone is

It will goon

Unless something really stupid happens

Then life won’t

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