(771 Words)

So apparently I was out of my head…

Although everything was inside it,

Racing and confused,

My cat was made out of

Styrofoam

The dinosaur in the corner

Nodded his head to me,

His Brontosaurusyness comforting

Sadly I was stuck in my bed,

Which was actually

A marble basin

Don't worry!

My door was a noble lady,

Clad in some heavy,

Rich material

Her hat...filmy

Like some cheap guaze

Her alien arms moved

Some creepy monotonous fashion

Her gauze covered head bobbing

I ignored her

The Brontosaurs smiled

The door would not leave me alone

Her ridiculous overdressed self

I hate hats

She reminded me of all the people in Court

Like back during monarchies

Some back-biting courtier's wife

Very untrustworthy.

Plus her hat was ridiculous

There were two clocks

One of top of the other

Perhaps it was a bit excessive

Whatever, it's not like I put them like that.

I feel the need to state that

My marble basin was particularly

Beige

Actually, I would hate to put that in my bathroom,

Not really my taste, some beige rock

With darker streaks running through it

Like some pompous, hubris attempt

To be like the Roman emperors,

Why the hell you'd want to be like them anyway

Ew, Caligula, Nero! Hello!

So in my marble basin

I terribly wanted to be rid of my door.

I mean, she was so pushy,

Her arms were much too skinny,

And I'm pretty sure there was

A stick up her ass.

Really, not my kind of person

If she did have a stick up her ass though,

She might have splinters, ouch

I'm assuming that would hurt quite a bit,

I saw a TV show where some weird guy

Scrubbed his penis clean with a scouring pad

I don't have a penis, but that is fucking creepy.

I do have a butt hole though, and I really

Don't want splinters in it.

So I'll perhaps give my door a drop of sympathy

But she probably put the stick up there herself

Because she's some creepy masochist

Should I be worried that I know how to spell masochist

Without looking it up?

Anyway this door has terrible taste in clothes,

And is a gossiping, freaky bitch,

Yet she simply won't leave me be.

Despite all this ridiculousness of her,

I don't ask her to leave, nor feel the need

To punch her in the face.

Perhaps it's because she is a door,

And doesn't have a face to punch,

That besides she's a door, it's not like

She can just go anywhere.

That would suck, to be on hinges.

Don't give her any sympathy though.

You can pet the Brontosaurs if you'd like

Shame I didn't catch his name,

He was so friendly and warm.

Not literally warm, but the warm and fuzzy

Kinda feeling you get from being safe

So, in the mean time, my dog

Has been sleeping with me the whole time,

She's a bit dumb, so she hasn't noticed the visitors

Actually, she's just stupid, but I don't want

To hurt her feelings.

She's not her usual black puggy self tonight though,

She has transformed herself into a cartoon,

A small white dog with black patches

I assumed that if she transformed herself,

She'd be some big beast of a dog,

But hey, who am I to judge?

I have no clue why she'd become a cartoon dog,

But whatever

She would probably didn't notice our guests,

Partially because she's dumb,

But mostly because she likes to bark

After people leave

Or dinosaurs, or doors

I've heard animals and children are good

Judges of character,

Anyone ever ask why these two are in the same category?

Anyway, my dog should have warned me

About this snooty door,

But she was too busy being a

Cartoony dog

Why would she be 2D anyway?

I guess her brain is too small to know better

The Brontosaurs was telling me to go to sleep,

The door lady was being annoying

And my cartoon dog was of no use

I mean, my marble basin was comfortable,

I should just fall asleep

And dream crazy dreams

I looked at the two clocks,

They read the same time.

Super late, gah!

I was going to be super tired tomorrow.

I blame the door, I mean who the hell

Could I close my eyes with this deceitful door standing over me?

Perhaps the Brontosaurs would watch over me,

I curled up in my basin,

I was suddenly so overwhelmingly tired,

Blissfully being seduced into sleep,

I gave the door one last rueful look

And closed my eyes.