The Building of Space

LORETTA HASKELL (Word Count: 675)

“Sailing from a treasonous sea of attrition
The sea sits waiting in the cold.”
“of a poisonous sail
on a sea of conditions.”
I am in merciful contradictions
This is the world I never bargained for, the one I never saw, the expanse I never dreamed existed.
I feel too lost to continue forward.
The words are all that I have to cling to.
If you see the light, jump the river and keep walking.
There’s a beam ahead, I think I’ll find the way to Neverland.
If you see me there, just nod and pass on by.
Bionic arms and the heart of metal, I believe in the above, I trust in the below, do you see through darkness or believe only in torched dreams only.
I can’t see the correct path to follow. This was easier on your side. Today I can’t dream of anything more real than you. You were simpler in the past. When our hearts beat beneath different skin. The distance was fathomable. The break was longer. The pain was more real. The dream world has encapsulated me. The metaphysical energies are all in my blood, mocking the very core for which I previously existed.
You never saw it there. You never found the right path. Like a lion shot from the cannon of time, you growl through existence like it’s all yours to take. Time will not wait this time. If we wish to seize it, it must be now. Feel the beat in your blood. Feel the rhythm running down the wall. There’s a sticky nothingness to the world tonight. My bite, my heart, my cold dread of losing you. Of waking up to an empty bed. The love gone. The heart gone. The peace stolen from me in darkness. Again. I can’t dream further away. The nightmares have claimed all my subconscious hours.
There’s something in the closet. If I run it will slit my throat, spilling red blood across the green tinged sheets. I feel like a dream. I feel like fear. Smell the scents of sense. Feel the pulse of nightmares in your palms, where I find the knife plunged through.
Light doesn’t seep into this hovel. The hole of existence I can no longer contemplate. My fingers fly through letters like they were born inside the tips. I think I’ll swim in mercy. I’d bring you with me if I could find you, but you’ve drifted apart and the molecules have become confused, reconfigured, and lost to time. I see the soul, glittering among the stars. No matter how fast I reach, no matter how tight I squeeze, you slip forever through my fingers.
The past in passing taunts. It dictates the world I still live in. Past visions, past failures, the grabbing hands that pull me down to darkness I’ve fought to free myself from. I will be free. A Phoenix, born of water, that rinses itself in heavenly light.
Sex and envy, made into the slut they needed to get by. I was nothing. An object of satisfaction. The mind and soul was corruptible, they believed. Phoenix rising, falling, and forever fighting against their insanity. I will conquer you. Destroyer of your beliefs. Fuck the life you led me to, I will not drink from your bloody puddle.
Fight the urge to run. Flying feet never sensed an end.
In the sea of translation
We continue to search for the answers that we can’t find
Will never find
A tree may grow from blank cement
But the birds wings will never heal
You ask for the weird
You search in desperation for the answers to all your questions
Asking in all the wrong places
Questioning all the wrong prophets
What if I was your prophet
What if an answer was yielded to me
What if centuries had been created, waiting for this moment
What if the soul returned for the reason we could see plainly
What if
There were just no answers
No meanings beyond the solid
Nothing but emptiness and space.