Self Loathing Meets Self Loving

I admit I’m stupid
I mean- I was a Jewish neo-Nazi

How do you explain that?
I saw Reagan on the TV

thought he was my grandpa
I used to curse god

when my football team lost
couldn’t tie my shoe until I was 13

cut half my hair
dyed it blue black white

I thought fascism was sexy
combat boots and trench coats

And Hitler was just misunderstood
he was really just a sad child

with a dream of being a painter
I listened to charles manson

and I havn’t killed anyone
yet; although, I can’t speak for those who have

heard me. I know I am a fuck up.
100 k in the hole

fat with rotting teeth
a messy home that crawls

with rodentia, roacha and cat turds
I have a genius IQ yet am retarded

I stare at the walls singing Amazing Grace and masturbate

I have an Obama and a Mccain bumper sticker
I can’t make up my own mind

I want everyone to win
I climbed Mt Charleston

Stripped off all my clothes and recited the Pledge of Allegiance

To the beaver in the Barney Bear cartoon
If I were Faust

I’d sell my soul too
because the devil was just a sad child

with a overworked father
who was always on the road

The older I get
The less I know

I don’t know what love is
It just sounds better

Than acid reflux
We pass gas we illuminate

The darkness we disintegrate
Into each other if there is

No love then there is this