Saturday, March 15, 2008

What Art Means

We could look at art as money, as a status symbol. Consider the price that great art goes for... and what if anything makes it great, splotches of paint either randomly lade on or meticulously painstakingly thrown on to canvas over many years, like Van Gogh, he cut off his ear because he couldn't get the right shade of red on one of his paintings. When someone asked why didn't he just prick his finger? He would say that's a stupid idea. I need that to paint. why not kill a rabbit then, he would admonish. Rabbits are cute. You don't kill bunnies! But Vinnie, why not just prikketh a rabbit? Hath not a rabbit eyes? Van Gogh apparently was an idiot but that's okay, he only heard half the question anyway.
One day, we will be able to go inside the art itself, maybe smoke pot with the artist. Perhaps interview them, possibly have sex with them or even lunch. All this will be possible when the sun goes into Mercury at the end of the next decade. When the smoke clears, divine revelation will appear. A dog with 3 legs, and a golden branch dangling from his mouth. You will toss it and watch the dog hobble off, trying hard not to laugh. Maybe you will make up for the cruelty with a pat on the head. That night, be sure and close your eyes before going to sleep. Oh yes, beware of dog!

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