Saga of the Flat Tire

oh my car b- I am in epeoria after
my car blue a flat and my spair
didn't work either- i was
noivous- and swerved ont a curb on
e washington in epeoria-
wasn't paing attention and wammo
guess I was worried about
the presentation for cbreu tonight
thus I am going to miss it
this all happened around 3 PM
and I finally gave up on
the spare around 440-
so I am sitting on the side of
the road waiting on the toe truck
hahaha- how life is funny-
but a poem came out of it- just hope
I don't fuck up my grade in cbreu's class
I have a hard enough time getting b's
I have to take a shit- what is funny is
J is in pain David Foster Wallace
hung himsef and here I am torturing
my students with quizzes when I hardly
know what the fuck I'm doing--

Hurricane Ike fucked Galveston's
Shit up- life is a nice long proctological exam- such is life.- But
overall things are good- even if I
schrew up big time- I really can't
complain- I mean- I am just
experiencing everything- and say- if
I did join the army- wouldn't that
be good experience for my art?
Sure- I'd probably lose my humanity
but isn't humanity overrated?
So what I must do now is breathe
and allow nothingness to take its
course- sometimes life shits on you
but this isn't a dump truck-
just a little bird dropping-
one can always handle that.
One must always be peed off
one must always be grateful
astounded at the trees
furious through all the follies
we are in pain
and then we die

but at least there are trees
and tires on the road
and shit that we encounter
and bad language there is
pain= be grateful for the pain
for it is experience- feeling
and you are not inanimate
wave at the middle fingers that
fly by you- if you want
to make god laugh tell him
to fuck off a hawk
circles above me in epeoria
then disappears through the trees
u know bigass trees
my nordstroms are now dirty
covered with debris
rocks and pebbles and dust and shit
and I am wowed by it
I should be happy
I have to take a shit
Should I sing aloud
howl at the cars that
zoom by me
what is my rhetorical situation?

there is a carwash nearby
and a watertower
and I have to pee
and I cannot leave my
green hornet now
I am stuck here
such is life
ladeefuckinda-

there a weeping willow
it cries for me
andy poor poor andy
it says fuck you
stupid human- you
shoulda been a tree
ha ha
I can't argue with that-
we should all be trees
a sparrow a finch
a satellite dish
the clouds roll by
we are all drifters
in the cosmos
a turd awaits my commode

opus is an anagram of soup
boy I could go for some soup
would stanley fish share a
bowl with me?
I like chicken and rice by
campbells because it is made
of all 2000 elements in the
periodic table
thesis antithesis synthesis Rock.
We all win-
the cloud is a giant turd-
a locust just fell from the sky
on the side of the road and died
it had a good life
lived long and prospered
was giving-
never shat on me
in public
ah bugs
I sit here
holding in pee and
miscellania
awaiting mr toe truck
to come rescue me
from my ivory tower
of academia 547
it's a wonder I don't hear
rage against the machine on hold-
it's all my fault- I should have
driven on 150- or ate something
at icc- I was nervous about a fucking
presentation- WTF! oh well-
I guess I 'm always teetering on the
edge to some extent- my problem here
is I don't have much leg room-
that is do I have room to be ill
to have car trouble- No!-
one thing goes wrong and it's like
everything is fucked-
but at least i'm not in Iraq
or Afghanistan-
bullets aren't showering down on
me- I am just here- a peon
in academia- a professional bum
writing papers- going to therapy
writing crap called poetry
grading papers supposedly
pretending I understand
what I'm reading
pretending I am smart
when actually I drool
pick my nose and think
of womens' buttcheeks
ugh!
I am really a gorilla
an anemic one
-rather hairless
just a biped
crawling through Earth

Nobody really loves
Me
the Sun will devour
us in 5 billion years
so don't feel bad
for me-
you won't be around
then either
we are all just wisps
of excreted air floating
around
btw-I feel better now
that I have urinated
and the toe truck guy called me
he says he'' be here shortly
there is love in the universe

I am at the epeoria chiropractic
clinic parking lot 1605 e washington
it's now 7PM it has been
nearly 4 hours since my disaster
I wonder if all the Ash trees
will disappear-
I still have to shit-
we all have to
-
I am at home now
I am safe
all is well
except
I still have to go
Poetry
Be my laxative

let the world
flow