assonance

Welcome to the asshouse
As your assident, I must remind you my fellow assiduaries
that we are assessing our situation constantly concurrently
to the tee for every i we dot, and all that etc. etc. etc.
you might say we are just being anal
but we are just trying to assure
you that your assets are safe with us
and as your assistants to your
aspirations, we will as surely aspire
to make sure we are astounding you
in every way humanly possible
including bending over backwards
which we do with a workingman’s smile
and song of ascot emitting from our orifaces
so we assent to this here assay
We understand that some feel that our
acts of correction have been overly assertive
and we understand their asinine concerns
and wish to console them of their
delusions. We understand that
there are those who disagree with
our agenda and thus choose
not to see things with an open
mind, but know we are doing this
not to eschew you.
We know that dissent is fundamental, and it is diarrheal
as it splatters forth into consciousness
and often accidental
in a astringently acidic society so that people
will know who the wrong people
are and who the right ones are
and we wish to give them all the information
that we can in order to help them ascertain
their decision, all politics, economics, and exorcisms aside
So in closing, I ask all of you
to pray genuflect, move your bowels with assonance ( make it so!)
and astronomically project
so that we may accelerate
this ascendance for all citizens, today, tomorrow, yesterday,
and all spaces inbetween .
**********
Middle part needs a few more ass and butt references

Any suggestions?